Monday, no, I mean, Tuesday

Those Monday holidays always mess me up.

What a crazy Memorial Day it was! First, we all thought the parade was at 1pm. So did the newspaper. We got there just at one and found out that it was actually at 2pm. So most of us waited around for an hour while a few went back to my mother-in-law's and got some snacks and drinks and a blanket. Then one of my BILs went back to the house to start the grill. We wondered what was wrong when we saw him walking back to us - turns out there was no propane left in the tank, but he didn't have keys to his car to go buy some so he walked all the way back to the parade to get them from his wife.

So the parade was great, but when we got back we didn't really smell the grill going - it was going, but veerrryyy slowly. Finally it just died all together. So my SILs and my MIL were inside trying to cook food in the oven and toaster oven. Because my MIL stores stuff in the oven, we thought we had taken everything out, but all of a sudden there was a loud pop, and glass was all over the steak in the oven!!! There had been a glass casserole cover stuck to the top heating element and it shattered, and all the steak had to be thrown away.

That gets all cleaned up, and then my two SILs and I are in the kitchen and suddenly the chicken falls off the counter, spilling marinade all over Sarah's leg and foot and new flip flops. The three of us just burst out laughing - I mean, what else could you do?! The day had just been so crazy, that one more thing just made it all hilarious. I tried to keep my MIL out of the kitchen while Jen cleaned the floor and Sarah when to wash off her leg. It was too funny.

We had to rush through our triple birthday celebration (my DH, my son and my niece) so that Jen could head off to work, but everything else worked out ok. It just seemed like a bit of a let down not being able to sit around and chat like we usually do on Memorial Day.

The parade was good, though. There was a man standing across the road from us who was all dressed us, shirt and tie with a v-neck sweater over it. He had a military hat on, and every time an American flag went by he stood at attention and saluted it. I wanted to cry. And all the veterans in the parade saluted him, too. That was amazing and beautiful. What else can you do but clap louder when they pass by to try to show your appreciation, and say a prayer for those who didn't come home?

Busy work.

Did you know that the person who wrote the song 'Que Sera Sera' made up the language? No, it's not French, and it's not Spanish. He just made it up because it sounded good! I thought that was pretty amusing.

I was cranky last week, after cleaning my house for no good reason and all that. I wasn't really looking forward to going to work on Friday night and over the weekend (I usually have one weekend off and one weekend on), but I think it was good for me. It sort of puts me outside myself and gets me thinking of other things than whatever is going on at home. We are lucky to have such great customers at the store.

As much as part of me does not want to go back to work full-time in the fall, I think it will be good for me in many ways. I can feel that inner fight with the depression, and working even part time helps that. I think being away from home during the day will help a great deal. There will be some major adjustments, obviously, but I will give myself time.

I made a totally futile trip down to Manchester yesterday. I was hoping to pick up my letter of reimbursement for the courses I'm going to take in July so that I could go register for them, but when I got down there, no one was in the Education department. By the time I checked my email at home later, I reread the email from the Ed department grad assistant and realized it said that reimbursement letters could be picked up after May 22nd. Duh. I could have saved myself some time and gas! Still, I at least know the lay of the land for courses down there. UNH Manchester is in a couple different buildings, and it was good to see it all when I had a bit of time to work it all out and figure out where I was going, etc.

I am eager to get my grade for the class I took this semester.

Finally Friday

Ever get in the middle of a big project and wonder if it's all worth it? We cleaned the house and the yard, decluttered and so on, for a realtor's open house yesterday. Then no one turned up. Very dispiriting. So of course I wondered if it was all worth it. Was trying to sell the house an exercise in futility? Or did we just need to be more patient?

I admit that yesterday afternoon I was feeling rather down, wondering if all my hard work has been for nothing. Should I even bother trying to pack up anything else? Was I going to have to move everything back inside? Should we just be happy with what we have and not try to move? I think DH felt the same way.

But after thinking about it for awhile, I do think that we are doing the right thing. I worry about the timing - will we be able to move before school starts? Will I have trouble finding a job that will be near to wherever we end up living? Will the house we really like be sold before we even have a chance to bid on it? But basically I do feel like we are called to something else. I will miss this small town. I love being known by name when I go to the post office, for instance. But I really think DH needs to be closer to his job. His commute wears him down. And jobs for me teaching ESL will certainly be more available a little farther south.

We shall see. I say that a lot, because I have to remind myself to wait patiently. Letting go and letting God has always been the thing I struggle with most. I remember in college one of the monks telling me, "Worry is never part of God's plan," but I feel like it is bred into me somehow. Danielle keeps singing "Que sera sera" and then I immediately join in. It does help.

So the long and short is that we shall wait, see what happens, and try not to make ourselves crazy with the 'what ifs' in the meantime!

Overwhelmed on Wednesday

We have our house on the market right now, and our realtor is having a realtors' open house tomorrow. I'm stressing a bit about what needs to be done before then. But, of course, that means I'm on the computer, avoiding that which is overwhelming me.

Doing some clearing out on Saturday we realized how much junk...I mean, stuff, we really have. It's hard to get rid of it sometimes. When it is all around you every day, it just becomes part of the furniture, so to speak. You become so used to looking at it, that you just don't see it anymore. It's amazing how much junk we've been living with for years. Now we need to find a way to get rid of it. Some of it I'd like to just put on the side of the road with a Free sign on it, but I wasn't sure that would look too cool with a bunch of stuff next to the for sale sign. But maybe that's a good way to do it. I don't really want to store a bunch of stuff to wait for a time to have a yard sale. Once I get going with decluttering, though, I can't stop!

It is sort of like painting or using a glue gun. Once I get started, I start looking for things to paint or glue! What's next? Need anything glued? Want me to paint that for you? I was painting a door and some trim today and had to stop to go pick up the kids at school, and it was probably better that way!

Tulips on Tuesday

Is there a secret to growing tulips? I haven't had much luck with them. A couple of years ago I bought some angelique tulips bulbs from the preschool fundraiser, and the next spring they came up and were just gorgeous. Since then, however, they have come up, had leaves etc, but haven't actually bloomed. My girlfriend Danielle planted the same ones, but hers come up every spring and look lovely!

I planted some other tulips at some point, I think, because I do have one tulip blooming right now, but it's red. Very odd. I wonder if there is some secret to it all that I don't know about.

A Monday in May

So I have started a blog. Not that anyone should care much what I have to say, but I've been thinking about it for quite awhile. We shall see how it all works out. I do try to take one day at a time, so postings will depend on what is going on and what I feel like I can actually share with world without seeming like too much of a navel-gazer.....