Finally Friday

Ever get in the middle of a big project and wonder if it's all worth it? We cleaned the house and the yard, decluttered and so on, for a realtor's open house yesterday. Then no one turned up. Very dispiriting. So of course I wondered if it was all worth it. Was trying to sell the house an exercise in futility? Or did we just need to be more patient?

I admit that yesterday afternoon I was feeling rather down, wondering if all my hard work has been for nothing. Should I even bother trying to pack up anything else? Was I going to have to move everything back inside? Should we just be happy with what we have and not try to move? I think DH felt the same way.

But after thinking about it for awhile, I do think that we are doing the right thing. I worry about the timing - will we be able to move before school starts? Will I have trouble finding a job that will be near to wherever we end up living? Will the house we really like be sold before we even have a chance to bid on it? But basically I do feel like we are called to something else. I will miss this small town. I love being known by name when I go to the post office, for instance. But I really think DH needs to be closer to his job. His commute wears him down. And jobs for me teaching ESL will certainly be more available a little farther south.

We shall see. I say that a lot, because I have to remind myself to wait patiently. Letting go and letting God has always been the thing I struggle with most. I remember in college one of the monks telling me, "Worry is never part of God's plan," but I feel like it is bred into me somehow. Danielle keeps singing "Que sera sera" and then I immediately join in. It does help.

So the long and short is that we shall wait, see what happens, and try not to make ourselves crazy with the 'what ifs' in the meantime!