Maybe, not so much....

For the last week I've been thinking about my little guy and realizing that the questions I had are not really all answered by an ADHD diagnosis. Luckily, it seems the team at the child development center felt the same way. Someone will be coming for a classroom observation tomorrow, and after she reports back to the team, we will decide if we need to go see the developmental pediatrician. So that makes me feel better.

The assignments for case managers for next year in my school have been made, and there are no openings. *sigh*. I am disappointed, because it is a great place to work, and I'd love to do special education there, and under that particular supervisor. My current position will be available to me for next year, and it may be that I will have to take it, but getting a teaching position will certainly pay much more!

We are sort of in a Catch-22 situation. We would be able to afford a bigger house if I get a teaching position, but we won't qualify for the loan if I sign the contract for a job before we get the loan! I know all these little things will work themselves out, but I have a hard time waiting. It could all be a moot point if the house doesn't sell.

I never really thought of myself as a control freak until an evening a couple month (maybe more) ago with Danielle and Janabeth. We were talking in the car on the way home from a girls' night out, as we are wont to do (it almost makes we wish we had longer drives home from wherever we go to eat), and started talking about control freaks. Some comment Janabeth made (and it wasn't an accusation or anything like that!) made me think that perhaps, in a way, I am one. I like things done the way I want them done, I sometimes wonder why people don't do things the way that I do them, and I have a hard time delegating (not that I have to do much of that these days, but still). I have to keep my mouth closed a lot in the 6th grade room because there are ways I would do things if I had my druthers, but it isn't my classroom, and I'm not the one with the elementary certification.

Maybe this is why I have such a hard time with the house being on the market and the job hunt I now have to engage in, and so forth. I'm a control freak. Or maybe not a control freak. A control nut, maybe? Is a nut less obsessive than a freak? And if I am, how do I let go of that and let things happen the way they are supposed to happen? lol. I never thought of myself as particularly impatient, but perhaps I've been kinder to myself than I should have been! :-)

Yep, it's spring.

The black flies are out. A bit early this year, but they are out. Ugh. So I'll be spending most of the next month inside, thank you very much! It's too bad the best weather of the whole year is spoiled by those little beasties. If it weren't for them swarming around my head or getting stuck in my hair, I wouldn't mind them so much!

Exhausted, but with questions answered.

We finally had an appointment with the neuropsychologist for our little guy. The answer, or at least part of it, is ADHD.

Phew. I was sort of assuming it was Asperger's, there are lots of signs of that, but he doesn't meet enough enough of the criteria to really be considered that. But he is definitely ADHD. He was so patient through the whole thing, waiting while we talked to the adults, going in another room to draw, etc, while we talked more, then doing the cognitive test with the neuropsychologist (some of it literally on his head!). He was so good, and then so tired afterward! We had a quick dinner at Burger King and then made a not-so-quick stop at Walmart on the way home. (The weather has been so warm that the kids both needed new shorts!).

It will be about 6 weeks before we have the full written report, but we have the big answer now. The report will have recommendations for us and for school, and more details, I assume. But the biggest part is over. Thank heaven for that!

Little Bug stayed with my girlfriend down the road, and I think she must have been exhausted, too, because she was crying about the smallest things after we got home. I'm sure she thought we were having tons of fun while she was there, but she was forgetting she had a fun time, too!

Now we can relax a bit.

Tuesday again.

I hate not having anything to do at work. Yesterday was one of those crazy days where there was little I could do. My fourth grader was taking a math test at the usual writing time, so I couldn't help him. My second grader was absent. My sixth grader was taking a test in the computer lab. Then suddenly it was early release. Almost the same story today. I hate those bits of time where I don't have a student to work with or a place to be. And there are certain times of the day when if you can't help in the upstairs rooms, you can't help at all because all the downstairs kids are either at recess or at lunch!! Hopefully tomorrow will be better that way.

We have had one showing of the house, which is good. They ended up putting a bid on a different house, but still, we got the house all cleaned up and looking great, and we'll try harder to keep it this way now. Plus, there aren't any houses out there I'm dying to go look at right now, so it is just as well for the moment that we don't have an offer. I'm trying to be patient and sanguine about it all. Trying, I said.

I suppose I should go to bed, because I know I'll be sorry in the morning if I don't.....

The good, the bad, and the sad.

So our teachers didn't find out until Friday whether they would have jobs or not, which was hard, and then when they did find out, it was even harder. The teacher I work with most is safe, as are all the other first year teachers. The bad news was that my daughter's teacher is not having her contract renewed. We are shocked. The only way I can make any sense out of it is that she has not been there long enough to need an explanation as to why she was non-renewed, and that she has a masters degree and is therefore more expensive. I feel so badly for her. It does not seem fair or right, and I don't understand how or why they made this decision. I'm glad I didn't have to make it, but I don't envy our new principal having to deal with it.

News about my job will have to wait a bit, but I'm not worried. I cannot stay in my job next year unless I am unable to find a general special education teaching job. But I suspect that the position I have right now will be cut in half. We shall see. Now I have to go update my resume and write a cover letter to state my interest in any positions that might end up open at my school.

The saddest part of today was saying goodbye to my dear friend. She and her family are moving to California for at least two years. Her oldest is almost to my chin now, though she is the same age (actually 6 months younger!) than my daughter. It doesn't seem possible I met her mom almost 10 years ago! Little Bug was just a baby and she was pregnant with her first. We were friends immediately, and we have so much in common. I will miss being able to see her when I want, and our girls' nights out with Danielle. I know we can call each other and email, but that three hour time difference is sometimes a pain!

All this makes for a restless me. Jobs, friends, house waiting to be sold....ugh. Give me patience, Lord!

Feeling for the other teachers.

Tomorrow is the day that some of the teachers at our school will find out whether or not they will have jobs there next year. There are several really good new teachers, and I really hope we don't lose them. The district has to cut 5 positions, and I suspect that 2 will be at our school, and the rest at the middle high school. There will also be several paraprofessional positions that they will either cut completely or cut to part time. I suspect my position will be one of them. This is not a big deal for me, for reasons I'll get into later. We shall see!

What a woman wants.

I want more time to update my blog more often. And something interesting to actually say in it, whether or not anyone reads it.

I want a bra that fits and to have the money to buy more than one.

I want to sell my house.

I want to lose weight. (I'm working on that one).

I want to pray more and worry less (how does one do that worry part?)

I want to be a good wife, mother, daughter and friend.

I want to find a good job for next fall, and not worry about what it will be in the meantime. (there's that worry bit again.)

I want to write. And be good at it.

Now I want to go have dinner.